A question a day. From science to sports, literature to leisure, God to groceries. As two 19 year old college students from Ronkonkoma, NY we know less than we think. This is to get us thinking.
I've been asking a few people about this lately. I think the thing that makes me the most angry is Joseph. When he acts up or says something that is disrespectful it gets me angry. It gets me angry because I know there is nothing I can do about it either. I want to hit him or make fun of him but that doesn't do anything. I guess the fact that I have no control is what makes me that much angrier. Also the fact that he's flesh and blood and I see negative parts of me in him that I don't want him to have. But I've gotten better, I'm learning more and more how to deal with Joe. A lot of that is dealing with my own anger and control problems.
You probably already know this, but failure is something that really makes me mad. I hate failing myself, especially things that I know I can do. Failure for me has turned into such a bad thing that I use the majority of my effort now a days to make sure that I am as far from failure as could be. But even now, failure for me has risen as my standards for stuff I do has risen. So my failure level is starting to get closer to the level of perfection, which also makes me angry. I get angry that I am angry when I do anything less than perfect. So i guess really, I am angry at myself for trying to be a perfectionist. Thats truly what actually makes me angry.
That's been one of the hardest things for me too. I went to a conference thingy at church last year in February and the pastor talked about God breaking perfectionism and the fear of failure in us. Since then I've seen legit change, which has been very freeing. He could do it for you too bro, just throwing it out there.
I've been asking a few people about this lately. I think the thing that makes me the most angry is Joseph. When he acts up or says something that is disrespectful it gets me angry. It gets me angry because I know there is nothing I can do about it either. I want to hit him or make fun of him but that doesn't do anything. I guess the fact that I have no control is what makes me that much angrier. Also the fact that he's flesh and blood and I see negative parts of me in him that I don't want him to have. But I've gotten better, I'm learning more and more how to deal with Joe. A lot of that is dealing with my own anger and control problems.
ReplyDeleteYou probably already know this, but failure is something that really makes me mad. I hate failing myself, especially things that I know I can do. Failure for me has turned into such a bad thing that I use the majority of my effort now a days to make sure that I am as far from failure as could be. But even now, failure for me has risen as my standards for stuff I do has risen. So my failure level is starting to get closer to the level of perfection, which also makes me angry. I get angry that I am angry when I do anything less than perfect. So i guess really, I am angry at myself for trying to be a perfectionist. Thats truly what actually makes me angry.
ReplyDeleteThat's been one of the hardest things for me too. I went to a conference thingy at church last year in February and the pastor talked about God breaking perfectionism and the fear of failure in us. Since then I've seen legit change, which has been very freeing. He could do it for you too bro, just throwing it out there.
ReplyDelete